I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
