You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
