Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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