I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
