in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
