Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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