SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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