I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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