Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
