I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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