apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
