can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
