Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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