Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
