You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
