Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize