absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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