he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize