That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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