ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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