Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize