it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize