Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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