Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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