Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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