Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
