aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
