I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
