I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize