My hair reeks of homosexuality.
either way he was missing a nipple.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
