I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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