So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
