I look better un-naked...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
