I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
