is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
