so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
