If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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