I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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