I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
