Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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