Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
