you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
