Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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