He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
