How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
