Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
