btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
