I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
