2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
