No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
