So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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