I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
