You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pants are for mortals
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
