my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
