I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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