how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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