We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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