Don't you send me to vm
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
