I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
