I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They are going to name an STD after you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
