Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize