please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
