we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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